Can everyone just stop killing themselves?

Before you read this. I'm fine.

Yesterday we found out that Keith Flint from 'Prodigy' had taken his own life. It's always shocking when that happens, isn't it. I'm not going to profess to be the world's biggest Prodigy fan - but I did love their music, and they did have an impact on me as a young person.

Growing up, I was always into Heavy Metal music. Then Grunge (Kurt Cobain from Nirvana, Layne Staley from Alice in Chains, and Chris Cornell all ended their own lives), and indie music. Even at the height of its powers, I wasn't really interested in dance, or rave music - in fact - looking back I think I was quite narrow minded in my musical tastes.

I can remember hearing 'Charly' by the Prodigy, and thinking it was clever that they sampled that scary public safety film with the weird cat. I hear 'The Prodigy Experience' and loved it, and when they released 'Music for the Jilted Generation' it blew the doors wide open. They were a true crossover band, bridging rave or dance music with indie and grunge. We were all dancing together.

Rage Against the Machine were big at the same time, and they did a similar thing, only the other way around.

The point is, that I love the Prodigy, and Keith Flint was their energy, if not their music.

But this post isn't really about music. It's about life, and suicide.

I was just thinking. Kurt's dead. Layne's dead. Chris is dead (still not really over that one). Elliott Smith is dead, now Keith Flint - and there are others, actors, and even one or two friends who took their own lives. Without meaning to state the obvious, it's just SO tragic.

I don't know why any of those people decided to do what they did really. We all know quite a bit about Kurt Cobain and his battles, but he wasn't a close friend - even if at times he felt like it. I'm sure he had his reasons. But there are some VERY shocking statistics about male suicide:

https://www.mentalhealth.org.uk/statistics/mental-health-statistics-suicide

• In 2017, 5,821 suicides were recorded in Great Britain. Of these, 75% were male and 25% were female.
• Suicide is the most common cause of death for men aged 20-49 years in England and Wales.

Shocking.

Perhaps because death, dying and suicide are all taboo subjects - the fact that so many men are taking their own lives seems to be conveniently glossed over, but theses statistics are a scandal in my opinion. 

We need to ask some important questions of ourselves and our society. 

• Why do men find it hard to cope?
• Why can't we find the help we need?
• Is stoicism valued over emotional honesty?
• Are the strains of modern life, with all of its requirements, and never ending responsibilities expecting too much of our brothers, fathers and friends? 

There are more questions of course. More to ask and more to answer.

I wrote this, because I feel sad that so many lives are being lost so soon. You love your heroes, and the thought that they were too sad to continue is heartbreaking. Whether or not anything could have done anything about these tragic deaths is unknown. 

So I wrote this, to get it out of my system. And I'm glad I did, because maybe I feel like I can feel like I've done something to express myself - even if I don't have the answers. 

Like I said, it's cool. I'm fine. On we go.

Living in the Desert

Down and down the day sun beats
Baking in the stifling heats
Of a wilderness, of nothing-ness
Just sand and heat and sun and less

It's hard to breathe in the desert.
Her arms wrapped tight it hurts, it hurts.
I'm stuck I'm stranded on a dune.
Like living in a desert at noon.

Your choices limited, all too few
In the desert heat, all you can do
Is get your head down, carry on
And hope that soon the sand is gone.

You look around to no avail
No-one's there to hear the wail
Of empty lonely hollow cries
Nothing lives here. It all dies.

You're trapped, your stuck,
Your done for, fucked
Do something soon and make it drastic
Get out this shithole and feel fantastic
Your mouth is dry, just keep talking
Your feet are bleeding, just keep walking
There's something coming on the horizon
You can see a new day rising.

But it's not easy. In the desert.

Freelance vs Employed

Since March 2014 we've been looking for instructors to join our team here at The Pilates Pod. After all this time we were really excited to have finally found what we thought was our permanent team. And it so nearly was, until one of the two instructors who had signed the contract had a change of heart.  What made this particularly disappointing is that this is now the 6th time that this has happened.

Of course, it's an individual's decision to change their mind if they wish and like it or not, we accept that it's just part of business. But after so many disappointments, it's hard not to let paranoia set in. So I thought I would write this blog to try and explain why taking an employed position against Freelance work is a good idea. Just in case you were thinking about applying for the position.

But first, here's the bad news. The pay is not as high as a freelance position.

We currently pay between £18 and £25 per hour for freelance instructors, depending on skills and experience. If you're a freelance instructor based in London or the surrounds, you might expect this to be a bit higher still. It's a good rate in anyone's books. As an employed position the rate is quite a bit lower than a freelance rate, but there are good reasons why taking an employed position over freelance hours is the right choice. And here's why:

You get guaranteed pay every month.

With a freelance position, if your 1:1 doesn't show, or cancels at the last minute or the class you were due to be teaching has no-one on it, then you don't get paid. On the other hand, as an employee, it's our responsibility to look after the marketing, venue rent, and make sure the classes and 1:1 slots are filled by employing an administrator etc. We take that risk, and you, the employee, gets paid regardless of whether there is nobody on the class, or whether it's full.

You get paid even when you aren't working part of the year.

All of our team are entitled to holiday pay. So if you want to take time off, you still get paid.

You get on the job training.

It's in our best interests to make sure that all of our instructors receive continual training, be it in-house or elsewhere. We are proud of our reputation as an excellent Pilates studio. We have worked hard for our awards, and we're committed to retaining this reputation, so all of our instructors share knowledge and best-practice with one another. It's an inspiring, creative environment that means we're able to offer challenging, varied and rewarding sessions for client and instructor alike.

You get to work with a great team.

Freelancing can be a lonely business. We're a good bunch. We laugh, we go out together when we can and we've even had a night away together at a spa resort.

You don't have to worry about your tax, or paying an accountant

If you're operating within the law, as a freelancer you will be submitting tax returns, and probably using an accountant to help do this. As an employee, you are PAYE, which means you have none of those headaches (or expenses) to worry about as it's all taken care of.

Of course, there are benefits to being a freelancer, and being employed doesn't suit everyone. But if you are looking for a few hours teaching on a Saturday from 8:45pm - 2:15pm in beautiful Hitchin, at one of the UK's most recognisable and up-and-coming Pilates brands, you could do a lot worse than applying for this role.

So go on, what have you got to lose?

Cheers,
Ed Smith, Director - The Pilates Pod.

 

 

Low Budget Tron

They made this:

So I made this.

Thanks to Steve Spicer for the original link.

Sainsbury's idea declined

Dear Mr Edward

Thanks for your email.  I can appreciate that having a store layout plan would be really helpful when shopping for groceries.

It’s a great idea, although unfortunately we currently don’t offer this service.

There are a few reasons why we don’t, one being the frequency in which items change position or have stock issues.

Stores will also move the layout in accordance with the most current promotions too, so may cause confusion on set plans.

This is not to say we won’t take this on board as we’re always looking for new ways to make you store visits as enjoyable as possible.

With that in mind, I’ve passed your feedback on to the store planning team for future review.

I appreciate you taking the time to get in touch and we look forward to seeing you in store again soon.

Kind regards

Mark Donaldson
Customer Manager

I doubt this is true, but you never know

My colleague sent me this email. It did make me chuckle. I doubt it's real, but it hardly matters

"This letter was sent to the Kirkcaldy High School Principals office after the school had sponsored a luncheon for seniors. An elderly lady received a new radio at the lunch as a door raffle prize and was writing to say thank you.

This story is a credit to all humankind. Forward this to anyone you know who might need a lift today.

Dear Kirkcaldy High School ,

God bless you for the beautiful radio I won at your recent Senior Citizens luncheon. I am 87 years old and live at the Raith home for the Aged. All of my family has passed away so I am all alone. I want to thank you for the kindness you have shown to a forgotten old lady.

My roommate is 95 and has always had her own radio; but, she would never let me listen to it. She said it belonged to her long dead husband, and understandably, wanted to keep it safe.

The other day her radio fell off the nightstand and broke into a dozen pieces. It was awful and she was in tears. She asked if she could listen to mine, and I was overjoyed that I could tell her to fuck off.

Thank you for that wonderful opportunity.

God bless you all.

Sincerely,

Isa."

Great shopping list idea

Dear Sainsbury's

I had a great idea last night as I wondered around the Luton, Bramingham store. My wife gave me a shopping list, with £120 worth of shopping on it. Although the list was comprehensive, she had just made the list throughout the week, so when I got to the store, the articles were in a random order. This meant that as I did my shopping, I was continuously having to track back and find articles on the list that I had inadvertently walked past.

So I had an idea.

It would be very useful if for all of your stores, you had a printed or downloadable plan of the store, broken into sections, ie:

Fresh Veg / Fresh Meat / Butchers / Deli / Tins / Alcohol / etc. You could even do this as a plan of the store. THis plan could then have space along side the sections (shelves) where people, like my wife, could write the list. Then, when people like me go to do the shopping, it's all in the correct order.

I'm sure you'd agree this would be a very useful thing for your customers, and a great value add.

I'd be happy to help you develop this idea further. I am a graphic designer by trade and would be happy to work with your team to draft something up for trial if you thought it a worthy idea.

I hope yo hear from you soon.

Sincerely

How much is enough?

It's another big rollover in the Euromillions lottery. An estimated £126 million. That's enough to make anyone sit up and listen, and want to buy a ticket. I play the lottery once in a while, and Euromillions even less frequently. I put my hands up to being sucked in to having a go when the big money rollovers come up, and why wouldn't I, the money would come in handy.

But I started thinking on the way to work this morning. £126m is a lot of money. An awful lot of money. Does anyone really need to win that much?

I remember when the National Lottery launched, and the jackpot was about £6 or £7 million. That seemed like a lot of money back then. It was, and it still is. But next to £126m it sounds like small change. I have been involved in conversations to that effect, where it's hard to imagine anything other than disappointment at winning the Saturday draw, and missing out on the big one.

But how would be enough? I started to think, what if we capped the possible jackpot winnings to, say £30m, but continued to allow the winnings to roll-over. Then, what if, we gave the rest of the winnings to a charity. That money could do a lot of good. Imagine, in East Africa, where millions are starving and losing their lives. That money could go so far to help.

Red Nose Day 2011 has raised £102m to date. An incredible sum, but Euromillions manages to raise that in a few short weeks in jackpot payments.

It actually made me feel a bit sick when I thought of it like that.

So how about it. Let's be a bit greedy, and indulge ourselves in our dreams. But £30m is more than enough. Why not let someone less fortunate win.

Dyson

I liked this...

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4WNcjkZ6d0w

So I made this:

The best 5 pounds I ever spent

Ladies and gentlemen, I give to you... the best 5 pounds I have ever spent. Some years ago, at Christmas, I was involved in a secret Santa debacle. The recipient was to be my friend Mike, a media studies teacher at the college I worked at. 5 quid is not a lot of dosh as we know, but I was determined not to take the easy route and purchase him two copies of a used, 1988 back issue of razzle.

Which, incidentally, he would have loved.

And so, while perusing the mall arndale in luton, I came across the little Orange analogue radio, photographed below. I was instantly taken with the kitsch retro design, and hardy Orange casing. Never one to miss a bargain, I bought 3 of the little beauties. One for me, one for Mike and one for my brother.

Job done.

I reckon that must have been 7 years ago. The aerial broke off about 6 years ago, but it hardly seems to have made a difference to the reception. And so the little orange radio sits on the windowsill in my bathroom most of the time.

I love the radio I do. I love listening to it in the shower, in the bath, on the loo. I rarely go in there without turning the little radio on. You'll often hear me screaming with rage at a devils advocate presenter on talk sport or 5 live. If you live in my bathroom that is.

But since my baby was born, the little radio has really come into its own. When he was a tiny baby, he'd really fight against going to sleep. Then, one day, I read an article about babies finding white noise to be soothing. It's a womb thing apparently. That evening as we were putting him to bed, I remembered the article and decided to give the little Orange radio a try.

On tuning it to 108 fm (no aerial, remember) it let out a constant hissy hiss. I placed the radio in the cot, and lo-and-behold, the d-rod miraculously stopped crying, stared at the wall, and fell asleep.

And so he continues to do now.

What a wonderful little radio. I salute you.

No, it won't go any bigger

The Emergency Services

Something I've noticed about the emergency services, is that they are always in a hurry. Beeping their horns...harrassing people...

In other news, I saw an excellent mentalist in the road just now, right outside Guy Richie's place that was taken over by a free school in Rathbone Place. He was screaming at the top of his lungs, then kept stopping to pick up what looked like little pieces of paper. He also kicked a wall.

I sometimes feel like doing that. No-one seemed to pay any notice to him. Maybe I'll give it a go one day.

Doing what I do best

... in the pub on my own, listening to tunes.

Monday shmunday

They don't get any easier do they, mondays. Thank god then for the Sunday service with jarvis cocker, and the finest hour with guy garvey. Two radio programmes on bbc 6 music, without which I doubt I'd make it through through day.

It'd be interesting to meet the director of programming at 6 music. They just got it so so right in getting those two making radio programmes. It's a bit like when Bob Dylan did his theme time radio hour. There really is something so heart warming about non-radio people doing radio. They screw up all the time, scythe wrong things, occasionally let a little swear through the net. It just seems a bit more human.

I could quite happily listen to that kind of show all day. Diverse, interesting, informed, funny, intelligent, heart felt... more of the same please BBC, and I will happily keep paying my license fee.

New day, new milk

Day 4 after Dylan's trip to the hospital, and it looks like the medication isn't doing much really, which points towards a lactose intolerance. So, the doctor has prescribed some super special AA grade lactose free milk. Which surely means it's not milk non? Anyway, so far the d-rod is taking it nicely, which is a total result because apparently it tastes like shit.

Needless to say, I  won't be testing whether it does or not.

It never ceases to amaze me quite how much paraphernalia there is with babies, and the feeding of them. We're currently onto our third type of bottle. Then there's the bag full of nappies, wipes, creams, powder milk containers, bottle warmers, bibs, muslin cloths, hip flasks and cigarettes. I could go on.

There's nearly as much shit to carry round as there is with golf, and that's saying something.

Pickchers

As you may or may not already know I occasionally take myself out onto the mean streets of London, and wander around taking random photos. I've been doing this for a long time, with various different cameras, but I'm currently using my HTC handset with various different Retro effects. I know they're a bit overused. It's easy these days, just download an app and away you go, but there's something lush about the retro quality of these pics which was somehow lost wit the ultra vivid clarity of modern digital photography.

But, like most people, I can't really be bothered to send roles of film to the chemists anymore. Or sit there scanning my polaroids prints. Or pay £20 a pack for Polaroid film for that matter. As much as I like the idea. So, I'm just going to go with it.

Here's a couple of shots from today. Maybe one day I'll write a story to tie them all together or something.

Acid reflux

A couple of days ago, Dylan was diagnosed with GERD disease by the pediatrician at the hospital. This is a severe form of acid reflux, which is caused by a variety of factors, from an immature digestive tract, to an intolerance to milk. It's reasonably common apparently. And with any luck, the medication we now have will help sort the problem out. But, it goes a long way to explain the fits of painful screaming he's been having. It's heartbreaking to see him like that, and its very trying for my wife who's with him all day.

Despite all this, we're still the lucky ones. Some babies have far more serious problems that they carry with them into the world. But I guess we all just play the team we're put up against, and it's been a challenge.

On the funny side, we rushed him to the doctors this evening after a 4 hour screaming rant. We were very worried, and I rushed home early from work. Arriving at the docs, my wife explained his symptoms, while Dylan laughed and smiled at the doctor. Classic.

Sinister table

Doodle of the day

Thought I might rekindle poodle of the day.

Misery bear

Whoever made this little video on the BBC website has obviously been following me around for the last few years. This is BRILLIANT: http://www.bbc.co.uk/comedy/clips/p00dxtxf/misery_bear_misery_bear_goes_to_work/